I’ve felt a bit paralyzed in recent weeks. Not able to fulfill my potential I know I have inside me as a human being. We all have an enormous amount of potential. A potential energy inside that is just that.
Potential.
There waiting to be released. I usually don’t have a problem with energy. I’m able to pour myself into a mission or a goal a hundred percent or more. When I feel a passion or fire for something, nothing will stop me from maximizing my end vision for that project.
But lately, I’ve fallen a bit flat. Stale. I’ve felt the blanket of low energy wrap itself around me and keep me in a bit of a pocket. It’s not the end of the world being in that state. More than anything its just a mind fuck. I have this large list of goals based upon that enormous potential energy within myself. I aim high.
When that potential energy is stuck at the station, unable to move forward on the tracks its pretty frustrating. Maybe counterintuitive. One might expect that the energy would just build up behind the train, eventually forcing it out into the world with a might and ferocious force.
I’ve been trying to become ever more mindful of the situation I’m in and have come to realize that this blanket that’s wrapped around me is woven together of the many unresolved and stagnant life stressors that have piled up over time. Little things that I’ve neglected here and there. While not a big deal at any give time and something that may not even take much effort to “check off the list”, become a larger problem in the context of dozens or hundreds of other little issues.
So one day this week I took out a legal pad I always have stuffed into my backpack. I tore off the several crunched up sheets on top, revealing a new sheet. A blank canvas. The perfect thing for a mind dump. Just the act of writing can be stress relieving. I’m giving a little bit of that burden to the very sheet I’m writing upon.
Within minutes I had furiously written 29 line items on the page. I ranked these just now as Small, Medium or Big ticket items. Something small might be my email inbox being overflowing. While a medium stressor is an overdue client proposal. Big ticket items on my list would be the finances of my company and some larger housing repairs that have gone to the wayside.
Of these 29 items, I categories 12 as big ticket items and another 8 as of medium concern.
No wonder I’m stressed and feel like I can’t breath!
The first step in change is awareness of the issue. Once realized, I can begin to act and I hope build some momentum. There is no better feeling than making some actual progress towards the completion of a project or task.
A completely stress free life is not possible and I personally think stress can help us to grow as humans. They can motivate and hasten positive change with the right mindset. So here’s to action and to knocking out the stressor list.
One big ticket stressor I wrote which is kind of sad was simply: “unhappy”. So here’s to realizing there’s an issue and now time for some action!
I attempted to put into words some additional feelings on this topic a few weeks back in one of my Steep Life video blog episodes:
Can totally relate. Hang in there. It’s stuff like this that makes me, and many others, show up at the races you and your team organize. See you at JJ100 this year! Wishing you a successful Hardrock. Thank you for the honesty. It is refreshing to a lot of people who also have it tough on a daily basis.
Breathe in. Breathe out. And Keep writing. Journaling can be really helpful.
So raw and so real. What many of us feel but never admit.
Good stuff my friend. We all get there we just don’t seem to want to talk about it. Very very glad you did.
Aww, Jamil. I’ve been there so I feel ya. In fact, I’ve been so overwhelmed with school and work I’ve lost sight of the ultimate goal. Thank you, you’ve motivated me to refocus this week, and will no longer ignore getting out there and running miles. New goal for the week: 20 miles <–this shows you how little I've run!